I (23F) have been talking to a guy (30M) for about a month. We originally matched months ago, I left him on read, and then he reached out again recently. We've been talking consistently since then and finally planned our first date for today.
For context, he told me he'd pay, pick me up, and even take time off work to meet. He also describes himself as a "go with the flow" type of person.
The problem started because as the date got closer, I asked him what time and where we were meeting. I never got an answer. The morning of the date came and I still had no time or location. I had rearranged my day expecting to hear from him and was getting increasingly frustrated waiting around.
Around noon I sent:
"I am trying to plan my afternoon and I do not like it when people waste my weekend."
He replied:
"Sorry I got distracted with my dog. I didn't mean to waste your time. I thought we were hanging later in the afternoon. I was a bit go with the flow since I had chores to make sure my dog was good before leaving the whole day. You could have called? I think maybe do your thing. Sorry I wasted your time. We had plans for today. I don't think I wasted your whole weekend."
The parts that bothered me most were "You could have called?" (we've never called before) and "maybe do your thing," which felt like he was assuming I no longer wanted to see him instead of asking.
I responded:
"No, I just meant today. I asked what time and where we were meeting and never got a response from you. When it's the day, I prefer having a plan instead of waiting around not knowing what's happening. Even today I rearranged my day expecting to hear from you.
Anyways, I do not wanna have this back and forth conversation like this.
Goodbye."
Now I'm regretting the goodbye. I wasn't trying to end things forever—I was frustrated with the situation. Part of me thinks I overreacted, but another part of me thinks it's reasonable to expect a time and place on the day of a first date
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